I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
