I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
