Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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