Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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