So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
