ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
