bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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