i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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