yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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