This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
