Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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