he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
