Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
