He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
jump out the window naked night went bad
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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