Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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