Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
