sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
