I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize