I feel great
I just peed on a car
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
