i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
