I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize