Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I didn't shave. On purpose
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
