i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize