We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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