I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
