Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
