return my video game
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
