i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
