She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
