one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
