i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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