i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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