There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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