We're like a lot better than the average bears
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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