Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
