Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Actions speak louder than pants.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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