we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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