Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
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He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
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Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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