We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
