Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He felt like a one man threesome
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
