I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
