I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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