would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
