I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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