i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
