1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Randomize
