She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
