I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
