she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
