Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize