their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
