dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
