tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
