tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm just crazy horny about you
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
