He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
