And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
