you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize