My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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