had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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