don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
that's an acceptable place to lick
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
