you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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