I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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