She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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