If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize