Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
tonight lets celebrate not being married
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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