If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
